| So it's been a LONG time since I've written on here. Some new stuff going on, but not much. Went to camp a few weeks ago. The camp for girls in foster care. It was definitely one of the most amazing experiences of my life. As was last year. It's always a long, exhausting week, but it's worth it. This year's camp seemed a little longer for other reasons which made it even harder, but I got through it. I hate when we have to leave because that means we have to take the girls home and that means we won't see or hear from them for a whole year. Anything could happen in a year! Last year, I regretted not keeping in touch with one particular girl because I knew there were some problems at home. Now, she is out of the system... and that's not a good thing. That means she's back with her original parents and there was a reason she was taken from the home to begin with. Now I have no way to find her or the agency she goes through. It's something I have to live with and it sucks! I'm not regretting anything this year. I've called case workers like crazy trying to get to spend time with them. It takes a lot of phone tag, but it will all be worth it. That was a lot of emotional stress to deal with. On top of that, after a conversation with a few friends last night, I've started re-evaluating my relationship with God. Apparantly, it's not as good as I thought. I've been struggling with this lately. I ask myself every day, "If someone asked me why I believe in God, what would I say?" I've never really found an answer for that besides telling of all the things He has done for me. Well, last night, for the first time, I was asked why I believed in God. I couldn't give him an answer. While he was talking with my other friend, I was just sitting back thinking about my life. I know that I'm a Christian and I believe in God and I try to get closer to Him every day, but I just can't explain why. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, so that's not it. That's just something that I've been struggling with for a while. And there are some other things that have been clogging up my mind lately, but I'll figure them out sooner or later. I am enjoying this week while my mom is on vacation and I have the house to myself though! No one stressing me out over things that don't even matter, no one yelling at me for nothing, and no one telling me what to do. I'm 18 and I think I can make decisions for myself. I'm a big girl! |
